All photos by Josh Gratton & Jenna Tullis Gratton

Jenna and I first met back in 2015 over a friends dinner at the Toasted Frog in Grand Forks, ND, followed by drinks at Bonzer’s Pub. She was dating my friend Josh (who she’s now married to), and our whole crew got together before I moved to Australia. Maybe it was the famous Bonzer’s Long Island Iced Teas, but we clicked instantly—she was warm, friendly, and easy to talk to. I remember thinking, she’s special—and definitely here to stay.

We didn’t get really close until years later, after I moved back and eventually ended up living in Grand Forks again. We connected over anything from makeup and skincare to deep chats about personal growth, dreams, and goals. Incredibly loyal, steadfast, and caring, she has supported me through some of the most difficult times of my life. The definition of a true friend.

So when Jenna told me she and Josh were planning a trip to Japan—though excited for the opportunity, she expressed a great deal of fear around traveling to a place with so many great unknowns. From the language barrier to cultural differences, it was a big leap outside of her comfort zone. As someone who loves travel, I couldn’t fully relate, but her honesty stuck with me. I realized just how common travel anxiety is—and how helpless I felt not knowing how to support her.

…Ultimately, she needed to go through the experience herself, and realize that with the right tools, she could do the unthinkable.

After she returned, I was eager to sit down and hear all about it—not just the highlights, but the growth that came with doing something that once felt impossible. We talked about the fears, the surprises, the beauty of Japan, and how this trip shifted something inside her. I was so inspired by her experience that I wanted to share it with others who might identify with those same struggles.

Here’s our conversation:

Pre-Trip Mindset & Fears

What specific fears or anxieties did you wrestle with before your trip to Japan?

My fears were rooted in the unknown—what would a long-haul flight feel like? Would I get claustrophobic or overwhelmed on the plane? How bad would jet lag be? How would we navigate a huge city and a complex subway system? Would I even like the food? Would the language barrier be too much? The hardest part was that I couldn’t picture myself there—it felt so far removed from my everyday life and routine.

How did your mind try to talk you out of going, and what did you say back?

Honestly, it felt like my fears were in the driver’s seat. I tried to counter them with logic: “You love to travel. This will be a cool, new experience. Everything will be fine.” But it didn’t feel convincing—it felt like I was dismissing how I truly felt. What actually kept me moving forward was my husband, Josh, who loves to travel. I really wanted to share this adventure with him. The other thing was avoiding thinking about it too much. My mindset was basically: “I’ll deal with it when it gets closer.”

“The hardest part was that I couldn’t picture myself there—it felt so far removed from my everyday life and routine.”

Was there a moment you almost canceled or changed your plans? What kept you from doing so?

I made sure to buy travel insurance for peace of mind—just in case. But really, it was the thought of Josh—and our friends who would be joining us—that helped push me through the fear. I didn’t want to let them down.That accountability helped me stick with the plan.

Did you have any rituals or strategies to prepare mentally before stepping on the plane?

Once I committed, I knew I needed to work through the anxiety. I started using identity statements and affirmations in the weeks leading up to the trip. Each day, I’d sit with phrases like, “I am calm and confident during travel. I look forward to adventure and new experiences.” I didn’t just repeat them—I’d imagine what it felt like to truly embody those words. Slowly, my brain started to believe them. By the time the trip arrived, I felt genuinely ready—like, “Let’s do this!”

Navigating Anxiety During the Trip

Can you describe a moment when your anxiety peaked while in Japan? How did you navigate it?

The worst moment was during the Friday rush hour subway commute. We were packed in like sardines. Claustrophobia hit hard—my heart raced, my legs and hands started to shake. Josh reminded me it was just a chemical response in my brain. That helped. I focused on self-regulating: I anchored myself with breathwork—long exhales twice as long as the inhales. Then I grabbed my Bluetooth earbuds (always within reach!) and started playing Taylor Swift’s folklore. The second I heard the opening of “the 1,” I felt my body start to soften. I thought about hugging my puppy—my happy place. Seven minutes later, the shaking had almost stopped. When we stepped off the train, I felt so proud. I proved to myself I could work through my anxiety and not let it control me, or limit my experiences.

“By mid-trip, I was actually enjoying the spontaneity. It became a way to be more present.”

What role did uncertainty play in your experience—was it an obstacle or an invitation?

Before the trip, uncertainty felt like a massive obstacle. I thrive on routine and predictability. But once we got into the flow—especially after meeting up with our Japanese friend, who served as sort of a host for our trip—I realized I could go with it. By mid-trip, I was actually enjoying the spontaneity. It became a way to be more present.

Kiyomizu-dera Buddhist temple in Kyoto: Josh & Jenna

Were there any cultural differences that heightened your anxiety? How did you adapt?

Surprisingly, the cultural differences weren’t as intense as I expected. Tokyo felt like another big city, and there were English translations everywhere. My only worry was being unintentionally disrespectful. I found myself observing others constantly—especially on the subway—just to make sure I was following etiquette. It wasn’t so much anxiety, just a heightened awareness and self-consciousness.

Was there a turning point when you started to feel more comfortable and present?

Oddly enough, it was the moment we sat down on the plane. I felt relaxed—maybe because I had visualized that moment, and had done so much mental preparation leading up to the trip. I felt that familiar spark of excitement and wonder return. From that point on, I stayed grounded and open to the experience.

Growth & Reflection

Looking back, what do you wish you could tell yourself before the trip?

I’d say: You’re going to treasure this. You can relax. It won’t be nearly as overwhelming as you expect. Imagine NYC—but across the world. Everything you’re worrying about won’t be nearly as big of a deal as it feels right now. But of course, it’s hard to hear that when you’re in the thick of anxiety.

How did facing your fears in Japan impact other areas of your life?

It proved to me that I can regulate myself through challenging moments—without medication. I was reminded that I’m stronger than what my daily routine usually demands. Now, when something small stresses me out, I have that perspective: I handled Tokyo rush hour—I’ve got this. Travel pushes you out of your comfort zone and resets your view of what really matters.

Did Japan teach you something about yourself you didn’t expect?

Absolutely. I didn’t expect to unravel this identity I’d built around being “an anxious traveler.” After one anxious trip to California three years ago, I slowly adopted this belief that I don’t like traveling. That identity became a crutch—keeping me in my comfort zone. But this trip shattered that belief. I proved to myself that I do love adventure, and I’m capable of handling the challenges that come with it. It was like closing the door on a version of myself that no longer serves me.

“Just don’t let fear be the reason you miss out on the world.”

Moving Forward

Do you feel braver now when it comes to travel—or life in general?

Definitely. Now that I’ve done this, other trips feel less daunting. A six-hour flight to Iceland? Easy. But even more importantly, I feel braver in life. I feel like I’ve returned to my true self after a few years of fear-based thinking. It’s amazing how one trip can shift everything.

What would you say to someone who deeply wants to travel but feels paralyzed by fear?

You are so much stronger than you think. Your regular routine doesn’t require the full strength you’re capable of—but it’s there. Start early with mental prep. Use affirmations and identity work. Practice breathwork. Plan your trip in the level of detail that comforts you. Watch videos of the plane you’ll be flying on. Know what calms you and have it ready. And if you need medication to help you travel, that’s okay too. Just don’t let fear be the reason you miss out on the world.

“This trip reminded me that growth lives on the other side of fear—and that I want a life full of meaningful experiences, not just safe ones.”

Will you approach future trips differently because of this experience?

Absolutely. This trip gave me the confidence and perspective I needed. We’re already planning Iceland—and it feels exciting, not scary. That inner spark for travel is back, and I can’t wait to explore more.

Why was it important that you worked through your anxieties to make this trip happen?

Because if I didn’t, I would’ve stayed stuck in a limiting belief about who I am. The longer you stay in your comfort zone, the harder it is to leave. This trip reminded me that growth lives on the other side of fear—and that I want a life full of meaningful experiences, not just safe ones. JTG